Monday, January 30, 2012

It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving a person when deep down inside your heart still does.
Even though we try to move on once we have fallen in love with another person it isn't that  easy to just to let all those feelings go.
Like with anything in life things take time, and it took time for your feelings to build as it will also take time to accept  the fact that you can't be with the person in whom you truly love.
We try to convince ourselves that the present truth can be changed and that if we where to adapt ourselves perhaps we could change it's outcome, but in reality that wouldn't work.
You never want to be someone who your not even if it feels like with out that person you're incomplete. Because irregardless  we live in a world with billions of people and the truth is their is bond to be someone out their for you and all you got to do is go find them.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Fugtive


Matt started working at The Globe back in 2005 during the investigation surrounding the assassination of Carlos Mendes. Since then Matt has been working for the Globe and has played a key role in solving three major crimes. Every week Matt writes a weekly column on crime that is being committed in Jefferson City.   Just recently Matt had been investigating the misuse of funds in the Jefferson school district and he found, that one of the principals Mr. Wilson used the money to buy himself a new car.  Matt published his findings in the newspaper unknowing that Mr. Wilson was Matt’s editor’s brother-in-law.

          It was two days before Christmas and Matt and some of his co-workers were attending an office party. Matt had to leave the party early because he wanted to straighten things up at his desk before heading home for the holidays. When he got to his desk there was a heap of paper’s stacked upon his desk. He began to clear off his desk when he noticed that there was a slip on his desk. He opened it up and read it:

Due to budget constraints your position has been eliminated. Your last day with The Globe is December 31.

Matt became frustrated by this news and stormed out of the office building. Questions began sprawling through Matt’s mind. How could The Globe do this to me? Why me? Why not somebody else? Did I do something wrong to deserve this?

Then a rather vengeful idea slipped into Matt’s mind, he would figure out a way to destroy the building to get revenge on The Globe. As he masterminded his plot on how we would destroy the building something unexpected happened… Matt ran away from the building in which he had spent the last five years of his life.  

He began to breathe heavily as he ran away from the building. Every breath he took became deeper than the last. He could hear the sirens behind him piercing at the night air. He gasped for air as he began to slow down as he drew father away from the crime scene.  He began to convince himself that he was responsible. He wanted something to happen and it did. Panic filled inside Matt’s conscience as he continued to run. What will I do?  Where will I go? Then Matt remembered his old friend Nick who he knew that he could trust with anything so he decided he called Nick and told him he was coming over.

Matt and Nick have been best friends  ever since grade school and they had gone through many challenges throughout the years they have known each other. Throughout their lives they have had each other’s back.  Most recently Matt assisted Nick in writing his essay for his application for the Jefferson Police Academy. In high school Matt was kicked off the track team and Nick quit the team in protest. Matt had the highest respect for Nick and he knew that Nick would help him get out of this situation.     

When Matt reached his friends Nick’s apartment he passed out from pure exhaustion. Nick dragged Matt over to the couch and put a blanket over him. Later that night Nick thought he heard something coming from the other room. When he entered the room he heard Matt mumbling. I did it… the fire… I got to get away. 

The next morning Matt woke up from a dream.  Matt looked to the right and noticed the newspaper lying on the table. He read the headline story: Suspicions Fire at the Globe suspected arsonist.   

 Matt then said to Nick “We have got to get out of town.”

“Well why man?” Nick asked.

“I’ll explain later, come on let’s get out of here.”  Matt said.

As Matt and Nick began to leave the town Nick started asking questions to Matt.

“Hey man so last night when you passed out, you started mumbling something about a fire and that you did it and you had to get away, did you start the fire at the Globe?” asked Nick

 “I don’t remember what really happened last night, everything that happened to me is a blur.” said Matt.

 “Would’ve there been any reason why you would’ve started the fire at the Globe?” asked Nick.

  “All I can remember is that me and my coworkers where having a Christmas party.  I left early to tidy things up at my desk before heading home for the holidays. When I got to my desk there was….” Matt face became pale as he realized what he had done.

 “What the matter man? Why are you so pale?  Do you remember what happened after that man?”

  “I did it man.” said Matt.

 “You did what?” asked Nick with a concerned voice.

 I think I might have burnt down the Globe” said Matt.

For a while Matt and Nick sat in silence, not speaking a word until the radio broke the silence: Breaking news Jefferson’s City’s Fire chief has determined that the location in which the fire started that burnt down the globe was in the 4th floor in the corner office. The source of the fire is still yet unknown.    

“Hey man don’t you work on the fourth floor in the corner office?”

“Yes I do, I’ve worked their ever since my office moved up stairs.”

“So you really believe that you burnt down the Globe?”

“Yes I think so.  Let’s head over to the lake house and stay there until things settle down.”

The lake house was a tucked away cottage off of Lake Vermillion that Matt and Nick would always run away to when they faced a problem.  The cottage had two bay windows and a red door. The siding of the house was once a light blue but it started chipping off from old age. When you would enter you would see that there was a gigantic room. In the center of the room there was a stone fire place. There were also two red chairs and one large velvet grey sofa. The sofa had once been soft to the touch however over the years moths had gotten into the cottage and started eating away on the fabric.   

Matt and Nick spent the next few days at the cottage as they tried to figure out what to do.

Nick finally says to Matt “I don’t believe that you burnt down The Globe. I think you’re just over analyzing this situation.”  

“A part of me wants to be able to believe that I didn’t burn down The Globe, but there is just something that is holding me back from remembering the truth.”

“That’s called fear man when you pull yourself back from uncovering the truth. You’ve convinced yourself that you burnt down The Globe, when in fact you don’t actually know if you did it or not. There is only one way to find out.”

“I thought you had my back man, why would I turn myself in just to be caught?”

“I truly believe that you didn’t burn down The Globe. I think that your fear is what is making you deceive the truth, you were laid off and that’s a lot to take in at once and yes you were angry but that doesn’t necessarily mean you did it.”

“Are you sure this is the right thing to do.”

“Yeah man I got your back, as long as you explain what happened I am sure that police will understand and all of this will be resolved.”

Matt and Nick headed back into Jefferson City and went towards the police station. As Matt and Nick drew closer and closer to the police station Matt’s heart began to race. He began to question whether or not this was a good idea. Matt thought to himself: Should I really turn myself in? I mean are they really going to believe that I didn’t do it? Because if I go about and tell them that I had thoughts of burning down The Globe that would give them a reason to believe that I had a motive to burn down The Globe. Matt’s thoughts were interrupted by Nick’s voice:” We are at the station man.”

Matt hesitantly sat there unsure of what to do but then he decided he’d go in with Nick.  When Matt entered the police station with Nick everyone in the station stopped what they were doing and a dead silence filled inside the station. Matt then spoke and explained what had happened but before he could finish explaining Matt’s editor came bursting through the door’s and said “I think I might have burnt down The Globe.”

Soon people began to whisper and wonder who in fact burnt down The Globe. The police chief came into the room and took both Matt and his editor into separate interrogation rooms. Matt waited Matt’s editor explained why he believed he burnt down The Globe. “I was smoking a cigar when I heard that the owner of The Globe lay off Matt. I was very upset with this because Matt was the one of the best writers this newspaper had ever had. I remember I left my cigar in the cigar tray when I left to go speak to the owner.”

“It has been determined that the cause of the fire was from a cigarette. What type of cigarette do you smoke?” asked one of the detectives.

“I smoke Westbrook’s.”

“The type of cigarette was Weston’s your off the hook for now we’ll be right back.”

When the detectives entered the room Matt’s heart began to race. Matt explain to them what had happened.

“Do you smoke?”

“No I don’t why?”

“The cause of the fire was from a cigar.”  

Relief filled inside Matt as he knew he wasn’t responsible. The detectives left the room and went back into the room where the editor was.

“What type of cigar did you say that started the fire?”

“Weston’s”

The editor’s face became pale white as he realized who burnt down The Globe. He then said to the detectives   “I know who burnt down the Globe, my brother-in-law. I remember as I headed over to where the owner office was I ran into him and I saw that he had that brand. He had lost his job shortly after Matt had published that story, hence his motive. ”

Monday, January 23, 2012

The meaning of love


We all feel like there is a part of us missing, a half of us seeking for something that’s missing from our lives.

But when we find true love we find that other half of us which then in turn makes us whole.

Often time’s true love by itself can often be misunderstood. 

In many respects people often believe that love can be expressed in three words.

However they are wrong, love is meant to be sentimental, meaningful and it is to build over time till it becomes something much more than it was to start with.

 True love is the aspiration of our lives and to be able to share how we feel with another person is the world’s greatest gift.


Saturday, January 21, 2012

Darling Angel

Dear my darling angel,
Not a single day goes by that I don't  regret spending with you. The way you make me feel is like nothing, I've ever felt before. All throughout my life I felt like there was only one  half of me.  However when I meet you , I knew that you'd be the one who'd I'd spend the rest of my life with.  Deep down inside I had always wanted to express my true feelings for you, but I didn't quite know, how to say it. I would spend countless hours on end writing what I was going to say, but nothing ever came out right. I knew that I loved you with all my heart, but then I began doubting myself. I began questioning myself, I'd say does she feel the same way as I do? What if she doesn't how will this change us? So I decided it be best to wait it out and see how it turned out with you. But boy, was it tough everyday would pass and I would be reassured that my feelings for you where true. The way you looked at me, made me even more sure that you felt the same but I wasn't positive. Because every time when  your eyes meet mine my heart would skip a beat and all I could think about was how beautiful you were. Everytime you'd smile all the warmth that was inside your soul would radiate its beauty with the rest of the world. My darling angel I leave with but one thing, I extended my hand in gratude for what you have taught me about life and now its up to you to determine if your willing to recieve me.

Stars

Look at all of the stars in the sky,  see how they shine down upon you.
Let them guide you home.
Let your  curiosity wonder,  and you'll soon shine just as bright.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Chasing the Sun Set

Bitter cold surrounded me as I headed out for a run.
The wind was blowing upon my face sending a chill down my spine.
Every step I took,  it became more colder outside and my body began to shiver.
Every breath I took became deeper than the last and I soon felt like there was a weight that pressed up against my lungs.
I took gasps of air as I began to slow down because I felt like I was being constricted.
I looked to my right where the sun was setting I could feel it's warmth filling inside me.
All the cold vanished from within me and I became exhilarated with a spirit and  this sense of energy filled inside of me.
It was almost like an inner child trapped inside me wanting to realease all the energy stored up inside them.
It soon became dark as I continued to run. 
I knew that I had to make it home before the sun set otherwise it would become to cold.
I began to sprint as fast as I could.
I could feel as the wind began to pick up once again, I could hear the wind rush past my ears.
The world around me  became blurry  and that's the last I remember before I blacked out.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

In the back of my mind I think about you all the time.
Half the time, I am completely oblivious to the things I do with you.
Some of the time I feel a true connection with you, other times I feel like a body with no voice.
I could go on and on how you did make me feel but I'm afraid its far to late.
You hurt me, and its to late to apologize, and its time to move on.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Lock and The Key

There this girl who I love with all my heart.
When I look at her I want to be able to uncover what lies within her  but no matter how hard I try the picture always comes out blurry, but what I can see is something far greater that lies waiting for me in the  distance.
To me she is like a painting at first glance you don't get all the detail that was really put into the picture.
All you see is a body.
But at your  next glance you notice things that you hadn't seen before , somethings that you see might become clear, wear as other things that you see may not make sense.
I sometimes feel as if she is a lock and I am the key and that in order to unlock what lies within her , first I must find the key.
When  I do  find the key it will take us to places that we've never been to before.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

You're the inspiration that feeds my soul.
You're the one who taught me that if by the end of your life, if  you can count your true friends on a single hand than you have lived a fulfilling life.
You're the one who showed me that my dreams can come true.
You're the one who I can always rile on, to help me cope with my life.
You're the one who offered your help when I needed it most.
The truth is your not just one person, but your the people who surround me that have made my life a whole lot better.